Rarely do I get depressed.
Sure I get down about things or angry that I could've done something better or someone else could've done something better but rarely if ever am I depressed. Until now. I've been working at this job for 5 years now. Some call me the golden boy but I've never had anything other than positive things said about what I do and how I accomplish my job. Well, the latest annual review came around and it seems that my new boss doesn't seem to thinks so. As a matter of fact on the 1 to 5 scale (how my company does it, 5 being the highest and normally comes with a percentage pay raise and a 1 tells you to go pack up your desk) I received a 3. Mind you, I've met with my boss many times over the last year and she's had nothing but positive things to say about my job/work ethic and no criticisms. I've also in the 5 years of working here never received anything other than a 5 and have gotten bonuses or promotions every year.
Now its not just about the money but also the recognition of doing a great job. Not doing a good one. I pride myself on giving 110% of effort to whatever task I attempt. If I can't, then I normally don't attempt the task or at the very least ask for help. Yes it’s a character flaw but I'd rather do it right than half assed. There are a number of issues that came up during the year, not the least of which where I was told to NOT do my job because of some political behind the scenes work going on and no one wanted feathers ruffled so I was to stop what I was doing. I made it perfectly clear that I was hired to do a job so what do I do in the interim and was told to wait until the "kinks got worked out". I have no problem with that but don’t think I should be penalized for it.
Throw on that I've recently come into contact with a ton of old friends who are of the same age and their kids are either leaving for college or about to graduate high school at least. They're now getting ready to move into their "second life" after kids. I'm in my mid 30s, still don't have any, and kids aren't in the foreseeable future. I'm not where I want to be in my marriage, my life or anything else for that matter. Yeah today there's no hands in the pants for Splinter and sexy photos. Just wondering how hard it is to fashion a noose from an electrical chord (just kidding).
Is this really my life?
12 years ago
2 comments:
I don't like it when you're down in the dumps. It makes me quite distressed. I would go and talk to your bitchface boss about that mediocre performance evaluation. I don't see how that's a fair evaluation and you've had nothing but positive feedback thus far.
Personally, I think you're in a rut. I wish I lived near you because I would help you get your butt in gear. Life is too short to not be doing things that make you happy. You have to decide what you want out of life and then go get it.
Where is my happy go lucky, randy friend? I miss him and I want him back. You know I'm your cheerleader. I will support you in whatever you need.
aw, hon, we all go there from time to time. i know i sure have. definitely makes me wish you could come over and hang out so wifey and i could cheer you up.
Post a Comment